The Hardest Realization

Back in first grade, I remember having to write a sentence with the conjunction “but.” While others scribbled away at their pieces of paper, little me simply stared at the blank,  white lines. “But?” There’s simply no sentences with “but” as a conjunction…My mind simply would not give me what others had told me to do.

Fast forward twelve years later, and now, conjunctions have given way to essays and 10 page long articles written in the space of an hour. However, it is also twelve years later, that I finally was reminded back to the beginnings, of a bare, blank page unable to be filled. Only only word is written in 18-size Times Roman font in the front. “Goodbye.”

I’ve written in essays in 30 minutes, of deep analysis between two texts. I’ve written 4,000 words of original research on sociology. I’ve published one book, and am in the process of the second. And yet, all those numerous obstacles culminated to nothing, in this moment, with a blank, rectangular page right up in front of me. When it comes time to say ‘goodbye,’ to write something personal. What do you write?

Do you write what you miss about a person? -No, that would take about 40 pages. Do you write the hackneyed “let’s stay in touch.” But everyone does that, and that phrase does no justice to what that person means to you. Should you even write a letter? Maybe a drawing, or a voice recording or scrapbook would be better….

You can only hope that what you write in those few, limited lines will suffice. And in the black ink, your feelings and your relationship will be preserved. That you will look back and not be filled with regrets or “what ifs.”

Words are limited, and that, my friend, is one of the hardest realizations.





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